


Multiverse

by badwolfofbakerstreet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Dreams, Fluff, Fluff galore, M/M, Multiverse, Onshot, amara gives dean dreams, god so much fluff, it's a fluffathon, post 11x23, that's what he really needs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7063831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfofbakerstreet/pseuds/badwolfofbakerstreet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean dreams of Cas, he dreams their lives are different, that they've managed to love each other in other places. He dreams about it until he dreams of their normal lives and realizes that Cas fell for him long ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Multiverse

**Author's Note:**

> This little ficlet here is based on [this sad little gem that made me cry](http://thoughtcatalog.com/gaby-dunn/2012/05/maybe-in-another-universe-i-deserve-you/)
> 
> but it's also based on [this which is just more crying, really.](http://badwolfofbakerstreet.tumblr.com/post/145144675101/sketchydean-if-youre-sad-do-like-i-do-and)

He closed his eyes and his head felt as if it were in a tailspin. The bed beneath him was soft and gave way to his body in a way that made him feel cradled yet he was floating. He was safe and unsafe all at once. Afraid of falling, he began to clutch at the sheets, willing himself to fall asleep before his breath could catch in his throat the way it always did before he sat up straight in bed, gasping for air.    
  
There were a few nights he could recall in which he felt this way, it was almost always before the dreams came. The dreams he couldn't explain, where he was in other worlds, always the same people surrounded him, but the circumstances in which they existed were often times better.  

Sometimes they were the same, hunters, demons, angels, witches; Hell, Dean had even been a familiar in one of his dreams. Cas's familiar, an owl or something. Maybe it was a hawk. Either way, they always ended the same. He and Cas would discover and confess their love for one another. They would kiss, they would live happily ever after.  

Sometimes they'd get married. Sometimes, and those were the ones he considered nightmares, sometimes one of them would die and their love confession would only occur as death came over the other.  

Those were the nights he sat up, gasping for air, praying to someone that it was only a dream.  

He'd been having these dreams ever since Amara and Chuck floated away in a spiraling upward mist of dark and light. Ever since she told him she was going to give him what he needed most.  

He'd thought it was his mother, but perhaps it was more than that. He'd never had these dreams before. Never once.  

The internet said something about a multiverse, something about how there are an infinite number of universes out there; that maybe he's meant to find Cas no matter what universe they're in.  

It was a beautiful theory.  

He would love to believe that he'd have Castiel by his side no matter how his life had turned out. Whether it was boring or mundane or just as exciting and obnoxiously dangerous as it was currently. He wouldn't want to go through any of it without the blue eyed angel next to him.  

He never said it enough, or at all, really, but Cas grounded him. He was the driving force in his life that made him remember who he was and what his purpose was. Castiel pulled him from Hell to do good on the earth, and he may have slipped up more than once, but he was determined not to let him down.  

The friendship they'd formed, the devotion, the need, and yes, even the love was purely a coincidence. He never meant for it to happen, never even imagined it possible. 

Castiel was an angel of the lord, he was a robot, a machine specifically designed to fight and do the Lords bidding. 

But that wasn't wholly true. If there was anything he'd learned from his dreams of other universes, especially the one where Cas was a troubled teen who fell dangerously in love with a jock named Dean Winchester, was that Castiel never really fit any mold. He always stood out from the rest.  

Whether he was a quiet book nerd or an astrophysicist; whether he was the cruel jock or the cool biker guy. He was always himself, he was always different and genuine and a good person. He was always someone who Dean fell in love with.  

Dean contemplated whether or not he was in love with his current Cas when he began slipping into a dream of another universe.

Though it wasn’t another universe, exactly. It began as they always do, with their first meeting, except this meeting wasn’t unlike their real one. At least Dean thought.

This meeting started in Hell. Dean was standing in front of a poor soul with a blade in his hands, ready to cut in, when the shining, blinding, blue light came over the cavern and he turned, one hand shading his eyes and the other dropping the blade. He was drawn to it, and turned, walking toward it, both hands balled into fists to his side.

As soon as he’d reached it’s source, he was enveloped in warmth and he could feel himself being made whole once more. He could feel something akin to arms wrapping around him and something like hands smoothing themselves all over him.

_You're safe_ , came a whisper from somewhere in his mind, it was as though whatever was saving him was trying to convince him that this wasn’t a trick, but he knew it wasn’t. Nothing in Hell was that comfortable.

Somewhere along the way, the demons had discovered that Dean had been taken from his rack. They were fighting to get him back, but other flashes of white and blue stopped them from advancing; Dean knew these were angels, they had to be. But those didn’t exist. Something told him what they were, perhaps it was the one that was wrapped around him like a blanket, tugging him to the surface, to safety.

_Dean Winchester_ , the voice said, _I am going to restore you to your former self. Once you’re on earth, I will find you._

“How will I know it’s you?” Dean asked, suddenly afraid that he would never feel this light again.

_You’ll know_. It said, and Dean felt his chest swell and his arm catch fire; then suddenly, he woke up in a pine box.

Though he was sleeping, and this was a dream, Dean knew what came next, he didn’t need some weird fantasy to tell him that he was going to climb out of the box, be attacked by piercing sounds, find his way to Bobby, then to Sam, only to summon Castiel and meet the blue eyed, messy haired angel.

He watched their first meeting again with a warmth, the sparks that flew meant more than he knew at the time.

Suddenly, the dream switched, it was Castiel he was seeing, and Castiel was standing in a white office, Naomi in front of him.

“It’s time to train, Castiel.” She said, her voice was cold, her face cruel. They were suddenly in a warehouse and Dean saw himself, standing in the middle. He didn’t remember this, not one bit. This must be where the dream changed to a love story.

Only Castiel surged forward and stabbed him in the heart.

“Cas!” He heard and they turned to see another copy of him running out, a blade in hand, this one was challenging him. Though the look on his face was one of pure worry. Castiel sighed, his hand clenching around his blade, and when he looked back up, there were tears shining in his eyes as he dispatched this Dean with the same swiftness.

Dean watched in horror as Cas was made to dispel hundreds, if not a thousand, different copies of himself.

Finally, after killing one with no hesitation or fear, Naomi walked out, obviously pleased with what he’d accomplished. She told him he was ready. Then he was with the Winchesters, and they were finding the angel tablet and it all started to make sense.

He could see the moment Castiel flipped the switch, the moment he no longer had to report back to Naomi’s offices. The moment he’d been deactivated, was the moment Dean told him that he needed him. He wished he’d have said something other than _I need you_. He wished he could have said the four letter word that scared him still.

But he didn’t, and he watched as Castiel picked up the tablet and disappeared. He watched himself kick Cas out of the bunker, and he watched as he tried to repair their friendship. But the twisting in his stomach and the knotting in his chest didn’t come from himself, it was coming from Castiel. The flip when Dean showed up at the gas’n’sip, the urge to throw up when Dean told him he couldn’t hunt with them. The slight relief he felt when he learned why Dean kicked him out of the bunker. He could feel the heart ache and the resentment but the relief was stronger than any of it.

He saw and felt Castiel’s heart break when Metatron told him that he’d killed him. He saw the clench of the jaw, the quiver of the lip, the tears in his eyes. But he was proud of Cas for doing what he did.

He could feel the longing Cas felt, even though he was dying from fading grace when Dean was running around with Crowley.

It was like he was in Cas’s head, and could hear his inner monologue, the things he’d wanted to say when they’d finally gotten Dean cured.

All the words the angel had let go unspoken.

Dean’s way of saying _I love you_ was I need you.

Castiel’s way of saying it, came when Dean was going to his death, thinking he was going to blow up Amara.

“I could go with you.” He’d said so sincerely, Dean still remembers how his heart raced and his face flushed. He couldn’t let Cas die with him. The resignation Cas felt after that, but the determination once Dean told him to take care of Sam. He’d given him a job, a task, a promise to keep, and he was going to keep it.

When he came back to the bunker with Mary, there was no time for a reunion between them, they had to search for Sam. He’d been shot and kidnapped and they had to go to England to spring him.

It had been long and arduous and not at all how he wanted his mother’s first 72 hours of being alive again to be like. But it worked, she helped, she kicked ass. She saved her son. They were back at the bunker, they were a family again. But Cas felt like he was on the outside, they didn’t need a surrogate brother, Mary didn’t want another son, _at least, that was how he felt._

Dean’s eyes opened and he sat up straight in bed. His chest felt heavy and he ran his hands through his hair to find that he’d been sweating. His breathing was as irregular as his heart beat and he silently cursed Amara for doing this to him, whatever this was.

That wasn’t some other universe where they were childhood best friends turned lovers. That was real, it was real life, it was their current story and he’d be damned if he was going to let it end like that. He could feel Castiel’s urge to run, to leave, to extricate himself from the situation. He wanted to let them be a family without having to worry about him. Dean _couldn’t_ let that happen.

He tossed off his covers and threw his legs over the side of his bed, not bothering to throw on his robe or put on house shoes. He tore out of his bedroom wearing nothing but plaid pajama pants and padded down the hall with purpose to where Castiel’s bedroom was.

He knocked on the door, and heard the faint sound of a TV being clicked off.

“Yes?” Castiel answered, Dean didn’t wait for him to open the door, instead he pushed in and closed the door behind him, “Dean?” The angel was confused to say the least and all of Dean’s determination left him at the sight of the angel sitting on top of his covers with nothing but an undershirt and a pair of boxers on. He wasn’t even wearing socks.

Dean hadn’t ever seen him this exposed and it both scared and excited him.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked, trying to break Dean out of his sudden stupor. The hunter remembered himself and took a deep breath.

“Do you love me, Cas?”

“Of course, I-” Castiel’s words caught in his throat as his eyes met Dean’s, he could see the switch flip and the realization come over his face, “ _Oh._ Sam told you.”

“No, no Sam didn’t tell me _shit_ ,” Dean said, taking one step forward, his hands clenched at his side, “I’ve been having these dreams-”

“Dreams?” Interrupted the angel, Dean clenched his jaw and Castiel lowered his head, though his gaze soon found Dean’s again.

“Yeah, dreams, Cas. Dreams where you and I-” His words stuck to the roof of his mouth and he couldn’t spit them out, he didn’t know how to tell this angel that he’d been dreaming about them falling in love in different situations.

“Where we’re baristas in a coffee shop who flirt relentlessly and eventually fall in love? Or where we live in a world that’s black and white and see color for the first time when we meet? I’m partial to the one where you’re a famous actor and I’m a fan.” Castiel’s words were soft and barely there, but Dean felt them all like a brick to the chest.

“Cas, you too?” He got up the courage to walk further into the room and sit at the edge of the bed. Cas inched himself over the side so that they were sitting beside each other.

“I don’t know why, but I’ve been having them ever since we returned from England. Since Amara and my father left.”

“Did you have the one where she was your weird eccentric aunt who was trying to woo me and you got really jealous?” Dean asked, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to do something other than focus on how much he wanted to take Castiel’s hand into his own.

“I did.” Cas laughed a small thing and Dean’s heart fluttered at the sound. Castiel’s laugh went away after a moment and Dean looked at him, their eyes meeting, “What are they?”

“I think they’re from Amara,” Dean said, Castiel’s frown took over his face, deepening by the second the way it did whenever her name came out of his mouth.

“What does she hope to accomplish?” His hands tightened into fists and Dean didn’t resist his urge to take one of Castiel’s hands into his own in an attempt to help him relax. Cas looked at him with wide eyes as Dean’s eyes focused on the hand he was placing into his. He unfurled the fist and fit it against him, their fingers laced, it was comfortable, the same way he felt when Cas grabbed him from Hell.

“I dunno, Cas. Maybe this?” Dean asked, smirking as he held up their hands and his eyes found blue ones.

“She knew how I-”

“No.” Dean shook his head, “I don’t know, maybe. But she knew how I felt.”

“How you felt?”

“You saw it, in the dream, or maybe you didn’t. Who knows if she showed you what I just saw. But I saw everything, man. From your perspective, I could feel every beat of your heart. I saw how you were oblivious to everything when Lucifer was in you, and I get that you couldn’t have known how desperately I was trying to reach you.”

“I know that you tried, Dean.” Cas’s eyes were soft, his brows softer, Dean longed to trace them with his thumb, “Lucifer was smart, and strong.”

“True. When she had a hold of him, of you... I-I just couldn’t bare it, I shouted your name, but you didn’t hear me, she saw, she felt it. She knew it, then.” If Dean hadn’t been so afraid to release Castiel’s hand, he’d have been pacing as he told his story, he was feeling antsy enough.

The angel was squeezing his hand and he was pulled out of his thoughts.

“Dean?” Cas asked, and he could hear the uncertainty in that word, which bothered the hunter. Castiel had always said his name with such surety, with such purpose, to hear the broken crack of a voice say something that he loved to hear, it made his stomach reel and he wanted nothing more than to fix it, but how? “If it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sure we could track her down and make them stop. Or I could leave.”

“What?” Dean snapped out of his thoughts at the mention of Cas leaving, “No, never do that. No. You can’t leave.”

“Dean?”  
  
“Stop, why would you say that?” He didn’t mean to get worked up, but he dropped Castiel’s hand and fell to his knees in front of the angel, assuming a position one would associate with begging or a blow job, or both, “Don’t leave, _please_. I promise, I’m not uncomfortable, I’m just-Hell I don’t know, Cas. I’m confused. I’ll do better.”

“I-I’m sorry, I-” Cas sighed and moved a hesitant hand forward to run through Dean’s hair, it came down to rest gently against his cheek and Dean leaned into the touch, relishing in it’s warmth, “I won’t speak of leaving again. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here.”

“Good.” Dean cleared his throat and looked up at Cas.

There was a silent electricity coursing through them in that moment. He could feel it like a string between them, tugging them together impatiently. They surged forward at the same time and what should have been a heated, passionate kiss, ended up being a knocking of heads and Dean flung himself back, his hand coming up to cup his forehead as Castiel covered his own mouth. They looked at each other, Dean on his ass and Castiel probably bleeding.

Dean laughed, Cas followed.

“That was smooth,” Dean said, rubbing the spot where Cas’s teeth had sunk in.

“It was indeed, perhaps we should try again,” Castiel suggested, and Dean’s heart skipped probably more beats than it should have. He nodded and sat up, this time he moved forward with purpose, but slowly, carefully. His hands found purchase on either side of Castiel’s face to help him ease forward to meet him halfway. It was an awkward angle, and not at all how the previous kiss would have been if it had been successful, but it was a kiss all the same. The first, of what would be many that night.

He kissed like he fought, with grace and with passion. His lips weren’t the softest he’d ever come into contact with, but they were wonderful all the same. When they melded with his own he knew there would be no rival for his favorite kiss, it was one for the record books.

Dean’s teeth dragged along Castiel’s bottom lip as he pulled back to look at the angel, whose eyes were still closed and the corners of his mouth were turned up into a slight smile. He released a soft noise, from the depths of his throat, it was higher than Dean would have liked, reminding him slightly of Lucifer, but it was him all the same. It was a noise of contentment and happiness, a noise of pleasure at being kissed by Dean Winchester.

His fingers traced the jawline of the angel in front of him until they reached the fine hairs at the back of his neck and he pressed forward, his forehead falling against Castiel’s and he breathed in. He’d seen this happen enough times in his dreams and knew this was how it started, the uphill battle, the wanting and pining had been hell for the past eight years, and now he finally had Cas. He had him where he’d always wanted him.

He decided to forget about the hardship that awaited them; first he’d have to tell Sam, and his mother. Then he’d have to worry about losing Cas at every turn, he’d have to figure out how to cope with him hunting with them. He’d have to learn how to trust that Castiel could get himself out of trouble.

He couldn’t think about it when he held Castiel against him, when he could breathe in and smell the crisp, clean scent that was distinctly _Cas_. He could still feel the imprint of his lips against his own and searched for that feeling again, his nose nudging against Castiel’s in an attempt to create an angle as he moved back in for more. He’d raised himself up this time, so he was no longer in an awkward lower position, and began to push Cas back against the bed.

He’d found his spot above him, one knee rested beside Cas and the other foot was firmly planted on the floor. Castiel was resting against the bed on his elbow, his other hand was tugging at Dean’s hair in a way that had Dean groaning against his lips.

“Should we-” Dean panted into the kiss, unsure of what he wanted to ask, _slow down, speed up, take off our clothes_ , he didn’t know which line he wanted to say. He didn’t know what he wanted to ask for, he only knew that he didn’t want to leave Castiel’s side.

“I want you, have wanted you, for so long, Dean,” Cas said and Dean’s heart raced, “Would it be too much to ask, to-” Dean cut off his not-quite-a-question with another kiss, this time full force, with all the want he’d felt since he’d first caught himself staring at Cas’s lips when they spoke.

As he pushed into Cas more, and he began lowering himself back as Dean allowed his body to press more into him, his mind started racing again. What if they were moving too fast, what if Cas regretted this in the morning and felt Dean pushed him into this? What if he freaked out about the commitment.

Dean hadn’t realized that he’d stopped kissing, but Cas had and he ran his hand down Dean’s cheek, worrying his thumb over the bone there before kissing him lightly. Dean looked down into the soft blue eyes that waited patiently for him to catch up.

“I want this, I want you, I do, I just-It’s, can we-”

“Slow down?” Cas asked, his eyes alight with mirth and wonder as he stared up at Dean, “Of course. We have the rest of our lives.” That should have scared the shit out of Dean, really it should have. But it didn’t.

Lisa had talked about the rest of their lives, hell even Cassie did once or twice, and every time he freaked out. He started planning his escape. _But with Cas?_ He wanted nothing less than forever and that sat alright with him. He’d seen it in so many different ways that he knew there would be nothing but happiness with the angel.

They might fight and they might get angry at one another, they might stop talking once in a while; But Cas would never leave, and Dean would never ask him to. They both knew, Amara’s visions of other universes had shown them how much they love each other, no matter where they are, no matter who they are. They're destined to find each other in any universe, in any set of circumstances. This universe was no different.

Dean rolled over, pushing himself onto Castiel’s bed, and Cas wriggled around so that they were lying the correct way, beside one another.

“You don’t sleep.” Dean said, matter-of-factly.

“I don’t _need_ sleep, no. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep next to you, should you ask.” Castiel moved slightly and they were suddenly both beneath the covers, angel mojo had it’s perks. Dean found himself turning without question and Castiel covered him from behind, wrapping his arms around the hunters waist, he placed a light kiss to the back of Dean’s neck.

“Will you be there? When I’m sleeping?” Dean asked, unsure of what he was really asking. Cas had found him in his mind before, could he do it again?

“I will see you in your dreams.” He muttered and Dean closed his eyes, content to drift off to sleep, should there be another universe or just sitting in a room with Cas; he was no longer in a tailspin, but firm and safe, he wasn’t afraid of falling, because he already fell. Castiel was there to catch him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ooh, hey, [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/badwolfofbakerstreet)  
> Follow me if you'd like! :)


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